


The Spy's Apprentice.

by Lanna Michaels (lannamichaels)



Series: The Spy's Apprentice [1]
Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Alternate Universe, Epistolary, Time Period: Reign of Gregor Vorbarra, Yay WIP finishing!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-19
Updated: 2012-08-19
Packaged: 2017-11-12 12:12:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/490857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannamichaels/pseuds/Lanna%20Michaels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Excerpts from the Imperial Security files pertaining to the investigation and trial of Lord Miles Naismith Vorkosigan on charges of treason.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Spy's Apprentice.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was the AU fic I was _actually_ writing before Petya stole my brain. Two years later, I am declaring this done.

_From the security log of the bedroom of Emperor Gregor Vorbarra. Visuals removed by Imperial order, counter-signed by Chief of Imperial Security Simon Illyan._

GREGOR VORBARRA: Miles? What are you doing here?

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Birthday surprise.

GREGOR VORBARRA: What?

MILES VORKOSIGAN: It's your birthday and I'm a surprise.

GREGOR VORBARRA: When I said you could sleep over for old time's sake, I didn't mean with me!

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Oh, I know. But the thing is, sire, the thing is, either this is today or it's never.

GREGOR VORBARRA: Lord Vorkosigan, either you start making sense or I hit one of my panic buttons and arrest you for annoying me.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Well, sire--

GREGOR VORBARRA: Please don't call me that when you're in bed with me.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: I... don't think you meant that the way it came out.

GREGOR VORBARRA: Don't make me actually arrest you. Because I will. Gladly.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: How would you like to run away with me in the middle of the night?

GREGOR VORBARRA: What? 

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Wanna run away?

GREGOR VORBARRA: What?

MILES VORKOSIGAN: You know, leave? I know you've always wanted to. But with me to keep you company. You know you'd get bored all by yourself.

GREGOR VORBARRA: You want me to _kidnap_ myself?

MILES VORKOSIGAN: That's an excellent way of putting it, Gregor. Couldn't have put it better myself.

GREGOR VORBARRA: I knew I should have just ordered you into the Academy. I knew it. I shouldn't have given you even a chance of screwing it up and then being left around here being bored. Mind you, I hadn't suspected you'd come up with treason, but I've known you long enough that I guess it doesn't surprise me.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Should I be insulted now or just explain my thinking here?

GREGOR VORBARRA: Oh, please. By all means. Convince me to abandon my throne.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: You wouldn't be abandoning it!

GREGOR VORBARRA: Just temporarily? Long enough for someone else to grab it?

MILES VORKOSIGAN: That's exactly what I was thinking!

GREGOR VORBARRA: Good God. He's right. The Vorkosigans--

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Hey, wait a minute! No, no, you've got it backwards.

GREGOR VORBARRA: I have it backwards? Backwards? Miles, I have to say, you have absolutely no talent for palace coups. I suppose I should be grateful.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: I don't want your throne! This isn't a palace coup! This is the anti-coup. This is the see what happens-coup. This is the give them enough rope-coup. Gregor!

GREGOR VORBARRA: All right. I'm listening. I don't know _why_ , but I'm listening. This is so like you. How do you always manage to sound reasonable even when you're being everything but?

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Thanks, I think. Look, it's genius. You barely have to do anything. There are maybe five people on the planet who know all the ways in and out of the Residence, right?

GREGOR VORBARRA: I'd put it at four.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Excellent, perfect for my plans. Because I'm not one of them.

GREGOR VORBARRA: So your thought is that if I vanish through one of them, you wouldn't be implicated?

MILES VORKOSIGAN: No, it's that you wouldn't be stopped. I'd probably be implicated, because I'm a suspicious little mutie who can't give away his life's service--

GREGOR VORBARRA: When you were asking for your Imperial favor to get in without passing the entrance exams, did it occur to you to ask for me to shove you in without screwing the averages?

MILES VORKOSIGAN: No, because what if I didn't pass the writtens? I wanted to at least earn some of it. But that's not here or there right now. We sneak out through one of your emergency exits and then grab some emergency rations and make a break for it. We only need to stay off ImpSec's radar for a week or two.

GREGOR VORBARRA: I see a flaw in this plan.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Only one?

GREGOR VORBARRA: Well, one glaring one.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Which is?

GREGOR VORBARRA: We.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: You really don't trust me?

GREGOR VORBARRA: You're in line for the throne. I can't ignore that. I can't.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: You remember what my father had to do to get me recognized as his heir. You were there. You had to cast a vote for it so it would even pass. You think anyone would ever accept me as their Emperor?

GREGOR VORBARRA: I think you could convince anyone of anything, given enough time and motivation.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: That is strangely terrifying that you think so.

GREGOR VORBARRA: So we sneak out, you conveniently lose me, I get myself Imperially killed and--

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Then I get to diet for Emperor Vordrozda.

GREGOR VORBARRA: Ivan would inherit before he would.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Ivan's not a Count or a Count's heir. Vordrozda wouldn't have any problem jumping over him. You know better than I do that when there's a question of succession, who you're descended from is much less important than who backs you. If my father and grandfather hadn't backed you, Vordarian would be Emperor.

GREGOR VORBARRA: And if your grandfather hadn't backed Ezar, your father might be Emperor.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: And if Xav's son had survived the massacre... we could do this all day, Gregor. Succession is a nightmare and it's why the closest thing I have to a brother is Ivan, and no actual brother the Counts could have tried to force my father to choose instead of the mutie he should have done his duty and strangled, so far as they're concerned.

GREGOR VORBARRA: Miles--

MILES VORKOSIGAN: And speaking of Ivan, once we get into succession questions, salic descent's more than slippery enough. Even Count Vorpatril might not throw his support behind Ivan, he doesn't particularly like him or think he's a credit to the name. Aunt Alys has political might, but it's all behind the scenes, and Ivan's...Ivan's Ivan. If he's going to usurp your throne, Gregor, he's going to need to do more than be an anonymous cadet at the Academy. And so long as we're talking salic descent and all the usual 'kill yourself before mentioning it' that it brings to mind, you realize you have the most prior claim through it, though, right? It's not like you could call it legal and then have to abdicate. Although considering how paranoid you're being, I suppose reminding you of Yuri isn't the best idea I've ever had. But ignoring Yuri momentarily, Dorca inherited through his mother, too. Maybe instead of making salic descent legal, you should just decree non-salic descent to be illegal. No, wait. You don't have any sisters. Gregor, why don't you have a named heir? I know you don't want to give someone an excuse to assassinate you, but if you're so worried about my father, you have to realize that he's had a hundred chances and hasn't taken any of them, and if you're worried about a named heir leapfrogging over him and then putting him into position to kill you and then take over, you mean that you're not worried about my father, and so the fact that you're snubbing him and distrusting him is even more insulting.

GREGOR VORBARRA: You've given this thought.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: I haven't had much else to do other than sit around and eavesdrop on politics and security briefings. I don't know all of what Vordrozda and his cronies have been telling you, but I'm telling you something else. No, I'm not even telling you. I'm showing you. I'm giving you a chance to find out for yourself.

GREGOR VORBARRA: A shot at the action?

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Well, more like a shot at the inaction. A shot at hiding from your own security for a couple weeks, long enough for another Pretendership to start conspiring.

GREGOR VORBARRA: Miles...

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Not an actual Pretendership, of course! Just long enough for people to show their true colors. It's practically Imperial tradition to fake weakness and see who shows up to take advantage of it. From what I've heard, Emperor Ezar spent the last few months of his life doing nothing else. You and me playing all sides against the middle fits right in. It'll be educational, if nothing else, and I'll do my best to make sure it's fun. Not a game, of course, none of this is a game, but still, we can make this fun.

GREGOR VORBARRA: Well. You always were good at hide and seek.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Trust me, Gregor. You and me? We'll hide and seek from the best of 'em.

 

\---

 

_Excerpt from the initial Imperial Security interrogation of Lord Miles Vorkosigan._

"--it wasn't as hard as it should have been to get him out Gregor can be very anonymous when he wants to be and no one actually expects to see the Emperor walking around the city and everyone who was looking for him hadn't started looking for him yet and everyone was sneaking around with their fireworks and celebrations getting ready to start so really if you want to blame anyone for the fact that no one stopped us you should be blaming yourselves and cultural expectations and what Mother calls the cultural over-fascination with uniforms that no one knows what Gregor looks like out of one and he's really very attractive if you like that sort of thing if you like them tall and climbable and not inclined to smile someone needs to give Gregor opportunity to show emotions without it being seen as a weakness is what I thought and we were in the old guerilla safehouse long enough with nothing else to do that I thought we thought it seemed like an excellent idea at the time and really it was and Gregor said if I didn't stop bouncing off the walls he'd do something drastic and he had to find some way to stop me from talking or he'd go mad from having to sit there and listen to me and it was such a fun way to pass the time and there wasn't much else to do and it was terrifically educational too I had no idea the human body could do that and I had no idea my body could do that without bones breaking--"

 

\---

 

_Excerpt from the second Imperial Security interrogation of Lord Miles Vorkosigan._

"--no, of course Da didn't know what I was doing why would I tell him he'd never what? no, shirking my security wasn't hard at all and getting rid of Gregor's wasn't hard because no one knew he was going and he left all his insignia and all the bugs behind yes of course it was his idea how would I know where they all were to get rid of them and it's your own fault for letting Gregor know where all of them were or not holding him down and implanting one of them in his spine no I'm not accusing ImpSec of trying to hurt the Emperor that was the whole point of this to make sure no one hurt the Emperor of course I don't want to be Emperor why would I ever want Gregor's job it's horrible and dangerous and I just wish we could clone him and put a hundred people between me and it and no one would ever let a mutant on the throne and of course I know that so why anyone would ever put me up on charges of usurpation I don't understand at all and I know I'm not a mutant but no one else does and people don't believe me that I'm not when I tell them anyway and Gregor said I'm probably less of a mutant than he is because I'm mostly an off-worlder by blood as it is while Gregor is the cream of Vor breeding and therefore is so inbred his family tree you're right I shouldn't repeat that he said it in confidence but it's not my fault you're the ones who gave me the fast-penta--" 

 

\---

 

_Excerpt from the Imperial Security interrogation of Lord Miles Vorkosigan, after his unusual reaction to fast-penta was noted for the record._

"So I convinced him to put it to a test and sneak out with me and see what vultures showed up in his absence."

And the Emperor agreed?

"I couldn't have gotten him out of the Residence if he hadn't. He knows all the secret exits."

What weaponry did you bring with you?

"Me? Nothing. Gregor's really paranoid, so he brought a stunner and a nerve disruptor. He may have had a couple more that he didn't tell me about."

The Emperor was armed and you were not?

"Yeah. So, I guess, in a sense, he kidnapped me."

Do you find something amusing, Lord Vorkosigan?

"Just wondering if I could put Count Vorbarra up on charges of kidnapping and lewd conduct."

Lewd conduct?

"Oops. I wasn't supposed to mention that."

It was noted in your initial fast-penta interrogation.

"Yeah, about that..."

 

\---

 

_Message recorded on Lord Miles Vorkosigan's private comconsole between the time he gave himself up for arrest at ImpSec Headquarters, Hassadar and his appearance before the Council of Counts._

"Are you out of your undergrown mind? Couldn't you have found a way to clear your father's name without stealing Gregor from his bed in the middle of the night and then vanishing?"

 

\---

 

_Excerpt from the trial record of Lord Miles Vorkosigan, Council of Counts, Vorhartung Castle._

COUNT VORDROZDA: Admiral Hessman's peculation charges are irrelevant to these proceedings.

COUNT VORKOSIGAN: Oh? Were you planning on funding your coup from your own pockets?

LORD GUARDIAN: My lords, this is not Count Vordrozda's trial.

COUNT VORKOSIGAN: Quite right, Georgos. That's tomorrow.

 

\---

 

_Excerpt from a private conversation in the office of Captain Simon Illyan, Chief of Imperial Security._

SIMON ILLYAN: What the hell am I going to do with you, Vorkosigan?

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Do with me?

SIMON ILLYAN: You kidnapped the Emperor!

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Yes, well, technically. But the Counts acquitted me of all charges and the Emperor gave me an Imperial Pardon. So I know you would love to throw me in a cell for the rest of my life so I don't give you any more headaches, but I did get a vote of innocent.

SIMON ILLYAN: Let me put this a different way. You successfully kidnapped the Emperor.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Oh. Um. He helped? Your security isn't as full of holes as I made it seem? It would never have worked without his active aid, you know that.

SIMON ILLYAN: I do.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: And we had to stay away for as long as we did, sir. Otherwise no one would believe the Emperor was possibly dead and start a power struggle.

SIMON ILLYAN: A power struggle. There were riots. Once you were known to be missing as well, your father was arrested. Count Vordrozda--

MILES VORKOSIGAN: I realize I didn't think this through as carefully as I should have. And I know you're really angry and upset and you'd like to strangle me with your bare hands, but you know my mother, sir. There's nothing you can do to me that she won't try herself, if I'm ever let out of ImpSec detention. Am I doomed to a life in a tiny cell?

SIMON ILLYAN: The only thing, Miles, and I repeat, the only thing saving you from spending the rest of your life in prison is that Gregor says you saved the Imperium. He wanted to give you a medal. I advised against it.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: I didn't want a medal. I wanted Gregor to stop thinking my father was trying to control him.

SIMON ILLYAN: Miles, has anyone ever told you that you have a problem with succeeding too much?

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Yes, sir. But I hope, at least, that I succeeded enough.

SIMON ILLYAN: Enough? Well, Vordrozda's dead for treason, and Hessman's court-martial will finish tomorrow. You succeeded enough that it's taken me this long to deal with you.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: I get the feeling I should be hoping to be spending the rest of my life in jail...

SIMON ILLYAN: Perhaps you should be. Congratulations, Lord Vorkosigan. You're drafted into ImpSec. Retroactively, as of two days before the Emperor's birthday, you're a civilian counter-intelligence agent.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: What?

SIMON ILLYAN: The Emperor considered forcing you on the Academy and then having you assigned here, but you've just dodged a treason trial and you're a political nightmare to have around even without it. There is no ambitious commanding officer who would want you in his chain of command for good reason and I'm not having you destroy careers.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: So in punishment for my sins, I'm becoming one of your town clown spies?

SIMON ILLYAN: I haven't decided on your assignment yet. It depends on how many demerits for insubordination you get at the training course you're going to be sent to in the morning.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: Oh. I, um--

SIMON ILLYAN: I've known you for your entire life, Miles. I know what you're like. Insubordinate barely covers it.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: This is why you're keeping me a civilian, isn't it?

SIMON ILLYAN: I have nightmares of your courts-martial. I imagine they would be legion.

MILES VORKOSIGAN: You have a point, sir.

 

\---

 

_Excerpt from the Imperial Security personnel file for Lord Miles Vorkosigan._

NAME: Miles Naismith Vorkosigan

TITLE/RANK: Lord Vorkosigan / Count's Heir, Vorkosigan's District

ASSIGNMENT: Gregor Vorbarra

DUTY: Protection

HANDLER: Simon Illyan, Captain, Imperial Security

CONTACT: Simon Illyan, Captain, Imperial Security

EMERGENCY CONTACT: Alys Vorpatril, Classified

FAST-PENTA ALLERGY: See Notes

SUITABILITY FOR INDUCED FAST-PENTA ALLERGY: Unsuitable - Count's Heir

SUBJECT/CITIZEN: Barrayaran / Betan Citizenship (Inherited, Maternal Line)

LIEGE STATUS: Vassal Secundus, Gregor Vorbarra 

RESIDENCE: Vorkosigan House, Vorbarr Sultana / Vorkosigan House, Hassadar, Vorkosigan's District / Vorkosigan House, Vorkosigan Surleau, Vorkosigan's District

SEE ALSO-FATHER: Aral Xav Vorkosigan  
SEE ALSO-MOTHER: Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan  
SEE ALSO-SELF: Piotr Miles Vorkosigan (Archived File)  
SEE ALSO-GRANDFATHER: Piotr Pierre Vorkosigan (Archived File)  
SEE ALSO-GRANDMOTHER: Olivia Natalia Vorbarra Vorkosigan (Archived File)

SEE ALSO-BACKGROUND: Anti-Mutagenic Prejudices, Vor Caste  
SEE ALSO-BACKGROUND: House Vorkosigan, Historical

 

ALIASES USED:   
Miles Naismith (Galactic, Betan Passport)  
Olivia Elizabeth Naismith (Galactic, Betan Security Operations, Code Phoenix / Komarran, Code Phoenix / All Actions Classified)  
Peter Kosigan (Domestic, Classified / All Actions Classified)

 

AWARDS, PUBLIC: None  
AWARDS, PRIVATE: Eyes-Only, Security Classification Vor Bore

 

PROFILE SUMMARY:  
Lord Vorkosigan is uniquely suited to the Emperor's protection detail due to his position in court and his proximity to many power-players in Vorbarr Sultana. His father, Count Aral Vorkosigan, is former Regent and current Prime Minister. His mother, Countess Cordelia Vorkosigan, killed Count Vordarian the Pretender. He was foster-brother to Gregor Vorbarra. He has no siblings. He has no Barrayaran first cousins. See report below on Betan relations. See report below on further relations. Of note is his second cousin, Lord Ivan Vorpatril (Operations). Lord Vorkosigan is in line for the Imperium through his father's mother's father, Prince Xav Vorbarra.

Lord Vorkosigan is High Vor and his familiarity with his peers among the Vor caste and his continued interaction with them has led to five commendations (see section below) and nine demerits (see section below). 

Lord Vorkosigan's unique physical appearance, while making him conspicuous in undercover work, also serves him remarkably well in same. His bone replacement therapy has been completed. See medical report for comprehensive details.

Lord Vorkosigan's educational history allowed him to familiarize himself with Betan society (1 Betan year). He is well-suited to operations on Beta Colony due to his inherited Betan citizenship and ability to affect a Betan accent to a native-proficiency level (see report BETAN ACCENT ANALYSIS, NAISMITH FAMILY for further information).

Lord Vorkosigan failed the entrance examination to the Imperial Security Academy and is considered unsuited to military life due to a well-documented insubordination problem (see section below), though this has served to strengthen his cover among those of his age and social rank. Therefore, he is not to be used in any military matters or for any assignment for which a familiarity with military procedure is required other than his natural proficiency due to his familial situation (see report HOUSE VORKOSIGAN - HISTORICAL - MILITARY ANALYSIS for further information).

Lord Vorkosigan requires a bodyguard due to family connections. He is an uncommon assassination target, but is a common political target due to family connections. Therefore, care must be taken in undercover and off-world operations to ensure he is not identified as an ImpSec agent.

No fast-penta allergy treatment authorized.

No assassination work authorized.

All actions classified.


End file.
